Finding Clarity
I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, no doubt I have more than a few flaws. But I damn sure walk my talk. I am honored when I hear my clients and students say that I don’t preach from an ivory tower, that I lead from the rear, that I’m in the trenches with them.
On my journey, I’ve crawled through the mud, I’ve endured the dark night of the soul, and I found the light on the other side. I’m not just here to talk about it, I’m here to create a movement and share the path from the dark to the light with as many men as I can reach. I am here to get YOU into the life you dream of living.
The early chapters in my story are filled with fist fights, broken glass, blackouts, blood, and prison bars. Self-hatred fueled binges on substances, sex, and food. Anything to numb the pain I couldn’t be with inside. I know what it is to carry the weight of hatred.
For years I found myself stuck inside a destructive cycle. I despised the weakness I perceived in the “man” I saw in the mirror. The thought of asking for help or talking about my feelings was laughable.
It wasn’t until the umpteenth time I found myself cuffed up in another holding cell that I finally realized if I didn’t make some serious changes my future was going to be an absolute mess. I was going to get locked up, kill someone, or kill myself.
The clarity I found at the bottom birthed a renaissance. I started reading, studying, questioning, and thinking for myself. I put the bottle down, I got back in the gym. The weights were my therapist. I sought out teachers and began to learn how to take care of my body. I ate right and got fit.
My mind was such a chaotic storm, so impossible to manage, that meditation seemed like a good idea. So I read a few books, then I read a few more. I felt called to embark on a silent meditation retreat. A three-day silent retreat gave me the courage to go quiet for two weeks, then four; living 24/7 in deafening silence.